My Big Bro, the Big Five-O, & My Hero

My big brother, Dave, turned the BIG FIVE-OH — 50 — this week. Like most big brothers, he’s this little bros hero in many respects. He has always been bigger and stronger than me. As a child, I envied his brawn. In high school, they called him The Fonz… cuz he was Tough. Cool. Strong. While most thought of me as just Richie (as in Richie Cunningham )

In many ways the TV relationship between Arthur Fonzerelli and Richie Cunningham resembles the relationship between Dave and me. Sometimes Fonzie would be struggling and come to Richie for counsel. Like the episode where Fonzie needs to start wearing glasses. Fonzie can’t see well enough to ride his motorcycle without crashing, but glasses are NOT cool! Richie tells him what he needs to hear. The Fonz doesn’t want to listen. He tries several alternatives but, of course they all fail.

In other episodes, Richie is struggling to fit in. Richie is easily intimidated. Sometimes The Fonz would just show up … walking in behind Richie, scaring the thugs away. Many times Richie remained oblivious to how this happened. However, in later episodes, as their relationships matures, Richie starts to figure it out and he no longer wants The Fonz to be the tough guy for him any more. He wants Fonzie to tell him, teach him, or show him how to stand up. How to be a man.

In high school, Dave started dragging me to cross-country practice. I had never been on a sports team before. No little league. Nothin. Dave, along with half the team, was stronger and faster than me. But he showed me the other half of the team were looking up to us. Us? Me too? Yes. That was probably the first time in my life that I started to feel like I might actually be a MAN. Someday. By the time Dave graduated and I was “the senior,” I captained the cross-country team in the fall and the track team in the spring. And The Fonz beamed.

Ten years ago, I came to Christ. As part of that journey, I discovered grace and forgiveness. I received these gifts and then turned around and offered them to others including my dad who had abandoned us 33 years prior. Dave watched me go all Benedict Arnold on him and the rest of the family. “That man does NOT deserve forgiveness!” For 33 years we had agreed on this. Now for 43 years we still basically agree on this. However, for the past ten years, my response changed from “You know it bro!” to “Yes, but neither do I … deserve forgiveness.”

And so tough, hard, cool, & cold Fonzie started to get chinks in his self-made armor. Most of time it just pissed him off and he tried very hard to compensate by becoming tougher. harder. colder. Until a year ago when a lawyer served him divorce papers filed by his bride.

Thanks to some very caring Christian counselors and the power of the Holy Spirit, my big bro and hero decided to try on those totally uncool glasses. He decided being blind wasn’t so cool after all. And he started to see everyone in this world through Jesus’ eyes.

His marriage? Restored. His faith? Real. His anger? Gone. His heart? New.

Here is an excerpt from his email to our dad sent just one month ago. Keep in mind this is the first time these two men have spoken since 1965.

I found not only forgiveness for all that I have been and done, but better than that I have received Forgiveness & Freedom!!!! My marriage has been made new, we renewed our vows. And are rebuilding our lives together as a family. The way that God himself had planned for us to live together. Today I walk the path of obedience, stopping and taking time to listen to that still, small voice and letting the Spirit guide and direct me and my life. That same Spirit has put the two of us together, … This is that Spirit I call out to each time we communicate, that the Spirit will guide our conversations.

Dave tells me he is planning a trip to reunite with our dad sometime this summer. Forty-four years in the planning. Or perhaps even 2000 years. Go Jesus.

Happy Birthday Fonzie er…ahh.. Dave!

By the way, those glasses are looking way cool on you!

(Yes, Dave reads my blog. So does Dad. I love my readers.)