Why do I want to push??

DO NOT PUSH!!At the door to our office there is this EMERGENCY EXIT button with the word PUSH written on it in all caps. The purpose of said button I imagine is in case of a fire or minimally, a fire alarm. Well, apparently some people are confused about what constitutes an emergency. Lunch, while extremely important, is not considered an emergency by the facility manager. So a sign is now taped on the wall above the EMERGENCY EXIT button that reads:

Please Do Not Push-
A silent Alarm will Sound

Now I have a couple of questions.
First, WHY do I want to push that red button!!??

You know, like DO NOT CLICK!
See what I mean? Why did you do that? Or why did you think about clicking? Quit mousing over it already!

And another thing, what DOES a silent alarm SOUND like?

And what if God had thought of putting the warning of a silent alarm after each of the 10 commandments, would we pay closer attention?

Please Do Not Kill-A silent Alarm will Sound

And the Please is so polite, don’t you think? Even right now, I’m actually starting to consider NOT killing somebody.

I love WORDS! It just when they are assembled into RULES that I have a problem. Its no wonder the alarm is silent.


6 Responses

  1. I know we have had a discussion before about that RED button!!! It is just like the WET PAINT sign … it challenges you to do exactly what it says not to do … maybe I am just a toddler .. always tempted to do what my mommy told me not to do.


  2. stumbled across this post… hilarious. nice job.

  3. That’s really funny.

    I mean, like 9 out of 10 times, the guy who passes the button wants to push the button and if it weren’t for the sign they would. But then, the one time there is an emergency, the guy who passes the sign happens to be the one who meticulously follows instructions and so despite the emergency, he doesn’t push the button because the sign above it says not to. I think the sign ought to read something more like:

    “Please do not push, a silent alarm will sound.
    Amendment A: Under the circumstances of public emergency, the button may be pushed.
    Amendment B: ‘public emergency’ is constituted by anything affecting the general well being of others.
    Amendment C: Amendments A & B are under the consideration of those occupants within this present building. Please do not press this button in the event of foreign national emergencies.
    Amendment D: Under no circumstances may ‘private’ emergencies visible to the public, be considered ‘public’ emergencies.”

    I think it’s perhaps a bit long winded, but that’s the price you pay for clarity, I suppose.

  4. Terri: Glad this offered a memory-moment to your day! Miss you here. Doug took your window cube. Don’t know how much it cost him.

    drb4: Thanks, I’m so glad you stumbled.

    WP: Did you know you have the same initials as a blogging company?? Or did they steal your initials? My legal initials, EB, just mean “slow” or maybe Encyclopedia Britannica. I think all the amendments you suggest should be in 8 point or smaller at the bottom of the page. And its not a bit long winded — Its incredibly long winded. I think I might be contagious. –eb

  5. funny 😀 is there any way that you could ask the person who posted that? he could maybe further explain what a silent alarm sound like 😛

  6. Thanks Catea. That would be an interesting explanation to post someday!

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