The Perfect Split

I know this is not suppose to be a competition but Brent’s booboo brought back memories from oh… 28 years ago.

pinky1.jpg pinky2.jpg pinky3.jpg

Picture of a foolish young manWhen I was 20 I got my right pinky caught in a wood splitter. My mom was at the controls but it wasn’t actually her fault. I placed the log on the I-beam and started to turn away to get the next log. This is when mom must have hit the “lever” sending the hydraulic arm in motion. But the log just was not straight enough and I am a bit of a perfectionist. So just like Indiana Jones reaching back to get his hat, I reach back to straighten the crooked log!

At the same time I notice the hydraulic arm is moving so I change my mind again and jump back… but not soon enough. My right pinky got caught between the log and the arm from the last knuckle to the end. My mom is yelling at me to get back. My dad is yelling at her to pull the level back. Me, I’m just yelling.

So when I get my finger back, or what’s left of it, it looks like a baby spoon. The kind with the white plastic covering on the end. The fingernail got stuck to the arm somehow and I rip it off 99% of the way as I yanked it out. It remained hanging by a thread of white flesh. My finger was squashed flat to the thickness of my bone (which did not break amazingly). The sink broke on each side and all the blood was squeezed out those two openings, so my finger was as white as white gets.

For a moment I felt fine but then blood started pumping into the end of the finger and umm… started running out of both sides like a faucet. Turned out the end of the finger was bone and separated flesh. The doctors thought I would lose it but they managed to “reconstruct” the end of my pinky into the Frankensteinian mass pictured above. Miraculously, the tendons remained attached and the fingernail grew back as well… surprising the doctors.

My wife will tell you I am not one for blood or pain. I’ve tried it and well, I just don’t like it.

Perfection has a price folks. Just trust me on this one.


11 Responses

  1. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

    I am totally feeling your pain.


    So that is probably really cool at dinner parties, “hey look…”


  2. Totally. Not too many folks have been caught in a wood splitter and actually well… thrown dinner parties.

  3. I love your perplexed look in the first pic as if contemplating, “Hmmm, how’d I do that again???”

    So, there was this time, actually twice, when little humans came right out of my body. I thought, “Well this isn’t right.” Babies head 11 inches. Me, not so much. Ouch.

    Tee-Hee! Sorry, I just HAD to 😉

  4. Did you not read the part about me and ahh… blood and pain!

    Patti delivered all 4 by cessarian. I took pictures with Samantha. Looks like a scene from the movie Aliens. I’ll have to find those pics n scan em sometime.

  5. “I’ll have to find those pics n scan em”

    uuhhh, no. You really don’t 😯

  6. ooooo I’ve never seen a pinky/butt before….that’s cute!!!

  7. I’ve always wondered about that: Why do women always go oooo over little butts? I know this woman who bought a nativity set because the baby Jesus’ diaper is fallin’ down in the back a little and she says, “oooo its so cute with His little butt showin’!”

  8. LOL, I’m not sure….I know big hairy ones don’t get too many ooooooos, it was my favorite pattin’ spot when my boys were babies… (shhhhhh don’t tell them I told you) and the first thing I grab when my hubby walks through the door….must be a woman thing!

  9. Sorry ric, my husband said it would behoov (?) me to play shy once in awhile…ahem….didn’t mean anything offensive…LOL

  10. oh… no apology necessary. I’m just slackin’ in my responses. No offense taken. You’re just like my bride in this respect. 😉

  11. […] thing happened a couple of years later when I nearly lost my pinky in a wood splitter accident. No immediate pain. However, once observing the extent of my mangled extremity, I became acutely […]

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