My TeenAngst Years

Older sister, older brother, & me

Older sister, older brother, & me

I look into this blurry, grainy image from the past and I remember. My older sister came home from college to spend time with the family when my older brother returned from US Navy Basic Training. My mom and dad were very proud of their son. The three of us are looking at mom and dad while dad snaps the picture.

Strangely enough, we are also looking at our three younger siblings. They are not part of our siblings photo. Whose chose to exclude them? Who chose to separate us? Does it matter?

If you look up to the top of my blog, you will see a different photo snapped by a different father many years later. My children are all laughing while trying to get close enough together for me to capture a moment.

But back in 1978, the photo snapped by our father is left wanting. We say a picture’s worth a thousand words.

I hear my dad and mom say, “Smile!”

I hear them complain when I do not comply.

I hear my skinny 18-year-old angst in my head.  Just snap the effin’ picture already.

I think if I saw that young man walking into youth group or, for that matter, just walking into my life today, I would tell him its okay if you don’t want to smile. Its okay.


8 Responses

  1. i can’t but help notice how much your sis looks like your daughters!

    y’think it could it be genetic?? 😉

    luckily we do not always have to be a ‘slave’ to our genes… and particularly not the genes of step-parents. We are allowed a large degree of Choice – providing we can see what the choices actually are.

    Sometimes that last part is not as easy as it should be.


    • Sometimes that last part is not as easy as it should be.

      Hey bLove, I wonder if there IS an easy part/step/button. 😉

      • i’m not sure there is for ALL cases Ric – but if there is one it probably involves us taking a step ‘outside’ of the ‘self’. Seeing the Bigger Picture.

        We generally make it harder than it really needs to be. We are very often too self-focussed and cannot see other important factors to a ‘problem’ that can help us overcome them.

        Memories with the strongest of emotions attached to them are often the hardest to let go of. i believe it IS possible to put a new emotion in place of the one a particular memory has become ‘associated’ with from our past. To do this however we need to be able to see things back then from another perspective.

        Forgiveness can then be applied and the past does not have to hurt us in the same way again.

        i am not an expert, but i know there are people who specialise in helping people do this themselves.

        i don’t have any specific scripture at the moment that states this – but it is my experience that if there is ever an ‘easy’ way out of something – it comes with an associated ‘cost’.

        It is the equivalent of the Law of Conservation of Momentum/Energy. You can make something change it’s course in a sudden very large energy ‘cost’, or you can achieve the same thing in a series of smaller movements that don’t cost quite as much at one time, but take longer to achieve.

        You can choose to change things in slow ‘easy’ steps – or you can do it in one sudden very painful process.

        There may be a ‘third’ way (such as the one i first mentioned) when we are ‘surgically altered’ while under some anasthetic to reduce the level of pain felt.

        Having and putting our Faith in God may hold that key?


  2. I hear ya. I’d like to do the same. Why are we so darn focused on this paper thin surface … so much that we’re willing to let the entire inside rot?

    • For most of my life, my focus was on deny it, hiding it, hiding from it, etc. I was so focused on protecting everyone else I ignored the internal rotting of myself. My focus has changed now. I have resigned from the job of family protector when it comes to my adult siblings and parents. I’ve given that job back to the One who can handle it. (hey, did I give it to God? hmmm…)

      • I HEAR you. For me, this is my husband. I’ve discovered (after being asked to stop by You-Know -Who) that he’s too heavy for me to carry, and many things would work better if I quit trying and let You-Know-Who actually do what I’ve entrusted to Him to do. So far … this has proved to be quite the shake-up in our marriage. But as you know … He’s not quite as scared of the shaking as all that fear was. In fact, He’s not at all scared. And if I look Him in the eyes … neither am I.

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