On September 29th, 2009, I keyed in this stream-of-consciousness below. It has been laying dormant in my drafts folder ever since. It is the precursor to Rescue Me, posted on October 5th, 2009.
The Hurt’s Truth
I hear the truth hurts often cutting to the bone.
I hear the lie kills often choking out the soul.
And that’s the good news.
It seems a poor choice truth or lie.
Like would you rather be sunburned in a desert, naked, with no water or
Fall on a bee hive while bare foot in the briers?
Um, I’ll take door number three, Monte.
Should the game be Truth AND Consequences?
If I tell the truth, people may scream and cry.
And those I love might de-friend me and run.
And those I reach out to might ignore me and hide.
If I tell the lie we will laugh and cry.
Those I love will accept my friend request.
And the backyard bar-b-que will be great fun.
As a child, I learned to pretend.
It feels too good to risk the truth
I know each hug is rooted in lies.
I know in my mind but the heart…
ok I can fool my heart. He is a fool.
He will believe whatever I live.
I want the normal Rockwell painting.
I made it my minds mission
convincing my heart
we live in a Rockwell
my mind can be quite convincing
I lost my heart in a Rockwell
Its such a nice place to be…lost
So, of course, I died there.
Its ok. you would not have like me.
Not the me who I am,
The me that was.
Not quite there
the me that is I am