3 Things

My brother Bob tagged me with this meme on Facebook. Its pretty short so, here goes.

Three Names I go by
1. (e)Ric
2. (grand) Dad (dy)
3. Boo(ooooooo)th

Three Jobs I have had in my life
1. Farm Hand
2. Waiter
3. Satellite simulation programmer

Three Places I have lived
1. Cooperstown, NY
2. Gambrills, MD
3. Hartwick, NY

Three TV Shows that I watch
1. Criminal Minds
2. Heroes
3. CSI

Three places I have been
1. UK
2. Bavaria
3. Dundalk

Three of my favorite foods
1. Blueberry Pancakes
2. Peanut Butter & Jelly
3. Tenderloin steak…especially on the grill!

Three friends I think will repost
1. hmm…
2. well…
3. ahhh…

Things I am looking forward to
1. My next cup of coffee
2. Seeing my children and grandchildren
3. Seeing my wife later today

Three things you do every morning
1. hit the snooze button
2. hit the snooze button
3. grudgingly get up after wife complains about me hitting the snooze button

Three things you do every night
1. Play with my computers
2. Blog (yours and mine)
3. Kiss my wife like we’re on our honeymoon
… well ok, maybe not every night but I try to blog every night…


The Season in Review

My grandson (who still calls me rad-dad btw) likes to wear my hats. He really likes my Dallas Cowboys, Five-Time Super Bowl Champs hat. He likes to ham it up (as long as I show him the pictures). Here’s a summary the season.

Early Euphoria

Early Euphoria

Early WHOA! Did you SEE that!!

Early WHOA! Did you SEE that!!

Mid-season concern

Mid Season Concern

Late season shock. (aka, dumbfounded)

Late Season Shock. (A.k.a., Dumbfounded)

End-of-the-road disappointment

And, finally: The-End-of-the-Road Disappointment (A.k.a., How much longer do I have to wear this hat?)

Where is Spiderman when you need him?

Red-Light District

Capital Dome + Red Light

Capital Dome + Red Light

As I walk from Union Station to my office building each morning I see the dome of the capital building to my left. I notice as I cross the street the red traffic light and the capital dome in the same frame so I stop and take a picture.

Knowing what is going on under that dome each day, I ponder the meaning of the frame. Does it mean congress is selling promises of pleasure? Or does it mean if I pay cash I will receive the promise of satisfaction only to be left wanting?

I decided it really does mean I need to continue walking the crosswalk or be killed.

Hence, I am still blogging.


Jacksonville, NC 2002

Its Friday morning
and yes, I know…
There’s work to do!
There’s lawns to mow!

Soccer comes at 8 A.M.
The running starts
and … never ends.

The weekend’s near
The laundry’s high!
let games begin
with silent sighs…

But just this once?
Lets forfeit all.
(just drop that duster an’ pine sol – HA)
an’ let those rain drops all just fall
And let those puzzled wonder why
we’re drenched an’ laughing at the sky

Correctization: the process of editing me

Recently, I was called out on on a questionable writing construct. Editors have told me, from very young age, that: “blahblahblah is not a word.” or “blahblahblah is not a verb.” However in their very edits they rewrite my words such that it says precisely what I aim to communicate.

So I counter with, “Yet you understood precisely that which I wrote.”

Patiently the editor informs me, “That’s not the point. Blahblahblah is incorrect.”

So I smile, tip my head to the side and say with my best student-who’s-just-learned-something-new-tone, “Oh, so the point of writing is to construct proper sentences!

Okay, I may not have actually said that.
Out loud.
Because, you see, I actually understood what she meant.
So I chalk up this mental victory, as does the editor, and we move along to my next ill formed word verbization.

Alas, such is life at the edge of the word envelope.
Submission really is the only way.


From whence I learned that meter matters,
I tossed those ugly chains of grammar.
You cry out, what nerve! what gall!
Course now I’m chained to rise and fall
Relentless current low then high
It makes you wonder why I try
I’m free from all that constipation
that comes with prose correctization.

Only the Fearless do Windows

Window Washers Cleaning our Office Building in Downtown DC

Doing Windows is Dangerous Work!

So what does the help wanted ad look like??

Window Rappellers Needed: Tired of elevator music? Do you love to hang out all day? Want a job where the boss CAN’T look over your shoulder? Remember how you enjoyed the tire-swing as a youth? Do you genuinely enjoy scaring the crap out of unsuspecting office workers? Well, we need someone who is light on their feet; Possesses a Boy Scout knot-tying Merit Badge (please bring your handbook); Is completely oblivious to waving office personnel snapping pictures with their cell phones all day long. Prior Bungie-Jumping and/or Navy Seal experience a plus.

Happy Tax Day Everyone!

Yes, I only now just realized today is APRIL 15TH!!! Woohoo. This day will forever take me back to those 3 years I actually worked for the IRS. 😯 Yes, I was a tax-collector. Of sorts. (You may want to take this opportunity to rethink how you really feel about me 😉 )

When I think back to those days I remember well this one slide in one IRS presentation. Of course, everybody knows the IRS is ALL ABOUT collecting money. However, the IRS is ALSO all about collecting data that impacts the collection of money. The IRS is also all about collecting data that impacts the collection of data that impacts the collection of money… So basically, if it can be counted, rest assured the IRS is in fact counting it.

So back to memory lane. This one slide / chart projected onto a 50 foot diagonal screen with high-resolution, contained a multicolored bar chart. Along the bottom were years 1960 – 2003. Each bar represented the total number of dependents in the USA as reported on tax returns filed with the IRS.

I remember thinking these chairs are no way comfortable enough to sleep in… because, well that’s exactly what I wanted to do. If you’ve suffered a bar-chart presentation, you know what I mean.

Well, somewhere in the early to mid-80’s there is the cliff. A sharp drop off. “The Cliff” represented a drop of 7 Million dependents nationwide from one year to the next. 7 MILLION!!! That means 7 million US Children DISAPPEARED! VANISHED!

AND LIKE NO ONE IS EVEN CONCERNED. In fact, everyone in the audiborium chuckled. Audibly! 😯

Coincidentally, that was also the first year the IRS began required Social Security Numbers (SSNs) for all dependent children named on the tax returns.

So the bad news gets even worse; we don’t even have the SSNs for all these lost children!

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